I AM IN THE PROCESS OF SIGNING UP AS NON PROFIT. ALL DONATIONS WILL HAVE TO BE EITHER CHECK OR MONEY ORDER AND WILL GO TO PAR, A STATE FUNDED ADULT REHAB HERE IN FLORIDA. IF INTERESTED IN SUPPORTING THEM PLEASE MAIL ANY DONATIONS TO:

LYNN NELSON

C/O SOBER & SEXY

100 SINGLETARY CIRCLE, #6

IMMOKALEE, FL 34142

I WOULD ALSO LOVE TO THANK ALL OF THE SUPPORTERS OF MY BLOGS AND MY FOLLOWERS.  I LOVE YOU.  LET'S WORK ON SAVING THE SICK AND SUFFERING.

There is a monster who lives in my head, He talks to me softly he wants me dead.

He tells me this time I'll stay in control. He tells me not to let anyone know.

He convinces me that no one cares, He whispers the pain is to much to bear.

He tells me how wonderful I will feel. He tells me he loves me and it is real.

He tells me not to call anyone, My heart starts racing, he tells me it will be fun.

He tells me not to think of past times, He promises I can do it just once this time

Who is this monster who calls me by name, RELAPSE, he waiting to start the game.

Written while in detox 02-22-2002 by a addict named Darla

Codependency Symptoms

Codependency is likely the hardest behavior to describe with definite terms. A typical codependent usually has many positive characteristics and is a "giver" of the first order and displays only the highest and finest qualities of character.
Codependency with alcoholics or addicts is too much for most of us to handle alone.

Who is a codependent?

It is said that about 6% of the North American population has alcoholic tendencies and that each one of those folks affects at least 10 other people. Add to that the other addictions of drugs (street or prescription) food, gambling/sex/crime (and other adrenalin addictions), it becomes obvious that we are all very likely affected and therefore codependent in some way with another person's addictive behavior.
Typical occupations for codependents include nursing, counseling and other helping professions. 

Living with Someone with an Addiction

If you are living with someone with an addiction then this is the right page for you. It is so absurd to think that someone could actually think more of a drink, bet, smoke, snort, needle, crime, or outside sex than they do of you their partner that you begin to doubt your own sanity.
Codependency is an addiction in itself as folks are addicted to the potential in others. A codependent tries to force the potential they think the other person has with all their might!
Also codependents hide many smaller - or perhaps more socially acceptable - addictions of their own, behind a more obvious addiction in their "loved one"

The History of Children of Alcoholics and Addiction

If this is part of the history of children of alcoholics and addiction in your life it is almost predestined that you will become involved with an addict of some description.

Codependency Support Groups

The support group of Al-Anon is the place to find others who have lived through the shame and degradation of having an alcoholic spouse, child, grandparent/child or friend or other relative. Other programs like Narcotics Anonymous and  Gamblers Anonymous have corresponding programs that allow the spouse, relative or friend of the specific addict to learn about how to relate within the addiction cycle

Cycle of Codependency

The cycle of Codependency with alcoholics or any other type of addict requires three main people/groups of people:

1. The Enablers:
   •  those who allow /excuse/ finance/ bailout the alcoholic/addict.
2. The Persecutors:
   • those who stir up the pot in order to put the alcoholic/addict on the defense and look for a way out of the pain.
3. The Victims:
   •  those who wallow in the excuse that someone is abusing/picking on/insulting/not recognizing their good qualities.

Both the alcoholic/addict, the enablers, the persecutors and the victims occupy all these roles at various times and to varying degrees - the fact that all persons switch roles is why this is called - Codependency with alcoholics.

Blame and Denial

Spouses that hide their own addictions behind another's more obvious behaviors are very hard to diagnose and suffer greatly from blame and denial.

• A Who Dun it? ... a true short story about Blame and Denial
  • I have served with a 12 step program as an outreach coordinator in a mid sized city for 4 years. Part of these duties were to organize and maintain a 24/7 call line for emergency call from the community. One day I received a call to assist a person in trouble with their drinking. When I and another volunteer arrived at the scene there were five very drunk people at a residence. I was unsure as to who had the problem because they all looked in the same problematic condition. So I asked "Who has the problem"? Immediately all four people pointed at the fifth, who upon further discussion was only being used as the scapegoat of the day!
• Blaming others for any set of consequences usually constitutes Denial.
• Denial keeps all addicts in their addictions.

A typical way that a person with codependency issues will react in any situation is to blame the addicted person in their life for all their woes, Blaming others for any set of consequences usually constitutes Denial.

The Rewards of Codependency

Codependency is usually looked at as an abusive situation and it truly is often extremely abusive. Why then, would someone, especially a spouse or lover, ( a child usually has no options) ever stay in this situation?
Well, a politically correct answer to this question is quite often given. But it has been my experience that the spouse also has addictions of their own that hide very well behind the major addiction of the offending party.
Codependency is primarily a unrecognized addiction to chemicals produced by the codependents own body.

• The body of a codependent produces adrenaline and endorphins constantly in the moment to moment chaos of their lives.
•  These are known as 'Fight or Flight' drugs. The constant 'fight or flight' feeling is what makes codependency so predictable.
•  It is predictable that the codependent will stay in life threatening and abusive situations well beyond reason as they crave their own drugs.
• In fact, codependents will often behave in ways that actually instigate bad experiences to get a new supply of these drugs.

These fight or flight drugs are produced by the body in both the honeymoon phases and the abusive phases. They are especially produced in high volumes during the life threatening phases. 

Recovery from Codependency Plan Pointers

• The objective is very clear and achievable - to stop over-reacting for one day at a time.
• The time frame is also very clear - one 24 hour time period. 
• The support system is very effective and functional and includes the following therapeutic tools.

Codependency Recovery Tools

• 12 Step Meetings - Regular attendance at 12 step meetings is the best way for a recovering individual to see first hand how the recovery program works and to benefit from the combined experience of many other recovering individuals.
• Telephone contact - with another recovering member of your codependency 12 step program between meetings is a great way to avoid the isolation that is common with many codependents.
• Sponsorship- all members may benefit by utilizing a member with more positive experiences under their belt as a sponsor. Seasoned members become sponsors to share what they have learned in their recovery journey and to keep their recovery.
• Anonymity - members identities and personal sharings are protected and held in confidence to create a safe place for all to recover. 
• Service - to other recovering codependents helps recovery goals stay in the forefront. Service is done by taking part in the regular responsibilities workings of the 12 step group. Set up chairs, clean up the room or lead a meeting are a few ways all members may contribute.  
• 12 Step Literature - is an important part of every members program. Reading the approved literature will assist a recovering individual to learn more about the recovery program and its various workings.
• Writing and Journaling - will allow a recovering individual to clear up old feelings and maintain a personal recovery plan. 

IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS SUFFERING FROM ADDICTION PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME AT LynnNelson6489@hotmail.com

THERE IS A BETTER LIFE WAITING FOR YOU.

HERE IS AN AWESOME RECOVERY PROGRAM WRITTEN BY DAN FARISH, HE HAS WALKED THE WALK.  PLEASE READ HIS BOOK. IT IS AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON REASONABLY PRICED.  JUST CLICK ON THE LINK...

THANK YOU.