SOBER AND SEXY BLOG ARE YOU A DRY DRUNK?

I would like to take a little time to tell you about myself since I have not done this since I start blogging.  I have battled addiction for 35 years since the age of thirteen starting with alcohol blocking feelings of not fitting in, not living up to my parents' standards, fear, anxiety.  I did not grow up poor.  Addiction is not discriminative.  I also grew up in Akron, Ohio.  The home of AA, how ironic is that?  I did 21 stints in rehab, have had several sponsors, rapid trauma addiction therapy but it wasn't until God let me see the face of Satan did it turn my life around.  I will now and will forever dedicate the rest of my life to helping others with this affliction, some way, some how.  Would you be willing to help?

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE 

THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO 

CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, AND AND THE 

WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

5,000 people die every ten minutes

 from this disease either directly 

or indirectly.  Let's do 

something!!!!!

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LYNN NELSON
C/O SOBER & SEXY100 SINGLETARY CIRCLE #6

IMMOKALEE, FL 34142

For any questions please call the phone numbers listed in my 

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ARE YOU A DRY DRUNK?

What Is A Dry Drunk?

Definition: A colloquial term generally used to describe someone who has stopped drinking, but who still demonstrates the same alcoholic behaviors and attitudes.

His behavior hasn't changed at all, he acts like a dry drunk.

Unfortunately when many former drinkers go through the grieving process over the loss of their old friend, the bottle, some never get past the anger stage.

It is a very real loss. The drink has been their friend for many years and one they could count on. When the whole world turned against them, the bottle never let them down. It was always there ready for the good times, the celebrations, the parties, as well as the sad, mad, and lonely times, too.

Finally their old friend let them down... they got in trouble with the law, lost a job or career, almost lost their family, or the doctors told them they had to stop drinking... whatever the reason, the circumstances of their life brought them to the point where they made a decision to say "so long" to the bottle.

Whether they realized it or not, they began the stages of grieving -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance -- the same stages most people go through when they have a great loss in their lives or have been told they have a terminal illness.

First comes the denial -- it's really not that big a deal, I've always said I could quit anytime -- and then the anger and depression when they realize just how much that had come to depend on their old friend alcohol.

Many make it through the process to the final stage -- accepting the loss, learning and growing through the experience, and moving on.

Some never make it. It's sad to see them, sometimes many years later, still stuck in their anger, bitterness, and resentment at having to make the change in their lives. They haven't had a drink in years, but they have also never had a "sober" day.

You even see them in the 12-step rooms... been in the program for years and years and their lives seem to be a constant unmanageable struggle. All those years and they have no more of a spiritual awakening than they did the first time they walked into the room.

"Dry Drunk" has been described as "A condition of returning to one's old alcoholic thinking and behavior without actually having taken a drink." Or as one wise old drunk put it, if a horse thief goes into A.A. what you can end up with is a sober horse thief. Or a personal favorite: you can take the rum out of the fruit cake, but you've still got a fruit cake!  Here are the general symptoms.  See if you qualify.  If you do you may want  to reconsider your recovery because you are NOT recovered.

Grandiosity – Grandiosity basically means a return to a self-centered, ‘the world revolves around’ me attitude. In 12 Step literatures this is the concept of being “self-centered in the extreme”. It does not have to necessarily mean that I believe I am the best; it can also be seeking attention through playing the victim or sitting on the pity pot.

Impulsivity – A common attitude or observable behavior of people with addiction problems is poor impulse control. We tend to do what we want when we want, with little regard for self harm or hurting others around us. Impulsivity can be linked with grandiosity to engage in behaviors designed to make us the center of attention.

Being judgmental – This is a very destructive attitude for people in recovery. When we judge a person as being better than or less than, we are setting up a situation where we inflate our egos feeling better than other people. On the other hand if we judge ourselves to be on the short end we can feel bitter and generate low self-esteem. Being judgmental is a low self-esteem generator.

Complacency – This is not only an attitude of somebody in dry drunk syndrome, but is a red flag warning sign of someone who is well into the relapse process. An important facet of being in active recovery is just that, being active, and moving forward. It is not how fast you are going but rather the direction in which you are headed. If you become lazy or disinterested and stop being proactive about your recovery, the natural to a tendency is to fall back into addictive behaviors. Your re-engagement in them is just a short step away.

Once you are lured into any of these attitudes, they start to affect how you think. Once your thinking is affected and you start to buy into self-centered thoughts, chances are you’ll engage in the actions stemming from these self-centered thoughts.

Here are some destructive patterns and actions that can result from dry drunk thinking:

We become bored, dissatisfied, and easily distracted from productive tasks.

We become restless and irritable and discontent.

Our emotions and feelings get listless and dull, nothing excites us anymore.

We start to the engage in the euphoric recall that is yearning for the good old days of active using and for getting the pain and shame of use.

We start to engage in magical thinking we get on realistic and fanciful expectations and dreams.

The last thing we want you is engaged in introspection to improve ourselves.

We start to become unfulfilled and have the feeling that nothing will ever satisfy our yearning or fill the hole in the sole.

Looking back at the list of attitudes and thought distortions listed above, it is easy to see how the dry drunk syndrome is simply nothing more then reverting back to the way it was when we were active in our use. If you are starting to notice some of the attitudes discussed creeping back into your life, is target time to start paying attention to the possibility of relapse and start turning your life in sobriety and recovery around. The dry drunk syndrome is a bright red flashing 

warning sign for relapse.

I drank for happiness and became unhappy.

I drank for joy and became miserable.

I drank for sociability and became argumentative.

I drank for sophistication and becaume obnoxious.

I drank for friendship and made enemies.

I drank for for sleep and felt weak.

I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.

I drank for courage and became afraid.

I drank for confidence and became doubtful.

I drank to make conversation and slurred my speech.

I drank to feel heavenly and ended up felling like hell.

Dan Farish

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