Self Centeredness......by definition

SEXY AND SOBER BLOG, RESENTMENTS THE NUMBER ONE OFFENDER OF RECOVERY

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I would like to take a little time to tell you about myself since I have not done this since I start blogging. I have battled addiction for 35 years since the age of thirteen starting with alcohol blocking feelings of not fitting in, not living up to my parents' standards, fear, anxiety. I did not grow up poor. Addiction is not discriminative. I also grew up in Akron, Ohio. The home of AA, how ironic is that? I did 21 stints in rehab, have had several sponsors, rapid trauma addiction therapy but it wasn't until God let me see the face of Satan did it turn my life around. I will now and will forever dedicate the rest of my life to helping others with this affliction, some way, some how. Would you be willing to help?

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

ALCOHOLICS ARE RESENTMENT-PRONE.

Most alcoholics have a deep—almost pathological—sense of justice. If we are wronged (meaning often that we did not get what we wanted), or we even conjure up the notion that we might have been wronged, we find full justification to express anger or harbor resentment. It then seems almost a duty to carry a justified resentment. Otherwise, those who have wronged us would get off scot-free. And that wouldn't be right, would it? So, we waste our God-given lives judging and punishing our fellows. Relinquishing a justified resentment is one of the most difficult experiences known to the alcoholic.

If you explore the origins of the resentment word in our dictionary your will find:

Resent has also been used in other senses that seem strange to us, such as " to feel pain " or " to perceive by smell. " The thread that ties the senses together is the notion of feeling or perceiving...again.

For the alcoholic, resentment is a reliving of the offense that injured us in the first place. Think about it. We perceive that we are punishing that person for their wrong when, in fact, we are simply willing ourselves to feel the hurt again, and again, and again - get the point? Resenting makes no more sense than our drinking did. Something is twisted in brainsville, we think.

METHODS OF RESENTMENT REMOVAL.

How are resentments removed? Here are the customary methods, and they are presented in increasing order of difficulty (to the alcoholic, that is):

Neglect. Yes, benign neglect removes most of our thoughts of the day. We simply forget about things that are not important to us. As we grow in our sobriety we are less interested in harboring resentments, and they follow a natural order of elimination unless they are captured by our perverse habits.

Reflection. If we are aware of our resentment, and if we wish to get rid of it, we are wise to think about it. Did we really hear what the other person said? Did they really say what they meant? Was what we heard just a rumor? Does the offending action fit a pattern, or might it have been a fluke? Was the offender in distress? Are we giving this person the benefit of the doubt? If not, why are we better off carrying a resentment?
Investigation. Maybe we need more substantiation or facts? Is there independent verification of what happened? Have we mentioned to the potentially offending person that we we taken aback by their possible action, and we would like to see if we understood correctly? Do the facts substantiate that we were really harmed on purpose? If not, why not just drop the whole thing?

Benefit/Cost Analysis. If there was a real harm, especially an intentional one, what is the benefit to us of carrying a resentment? Should it be a big resentment? What should be its ranking among the other justified resentments we already have? Will its insertion into our resentment inventory mean we should discard a resentment of lesser injury? How long should we carry this resentment? Does it justify vengeance? Are we willing to suffer loss of friendship, destruction of property, expense, arrest, or social disfavor as a consequence of being judge, jury and executioner? Would it not be nicer to simply be rid of the resentment?

Forgiveness. Yes, it is possible to be rid of residual resentments through forgiveness. The reference links below will describe how this can be done. Here are a few pointers, though:

Anonymity. The person you resent need not know of your resentment. In fact, it is much better and simpler if they do not know. A grudge nurtured in secret is much sweeter anyway.

Privacy. Unless the person whom you resent has asked for your forgiveness, or if you are absolutely certain that they will cherish your forgiveness, you should keep your forgiving private. It can be a gross form of arrogance to approach another person in order to tell them that they are forgiven. Usually they will have no idea of having committed an offense, and they will wonder who the dickens you think you are forgiving them - God, perhaps

Finality. Once you have forgiven another person, the act is final. It need never be repeated, nor should you permit the resentment to recur.

And, of course, there is the old standby, prayer. After the discussion of each step in the Big Book, a number of methods to alleviate or remove problems are set forth. The persistent and fundamental tool "suggested" to us is prayer. Prayer should have been in the list above, but we didn't know how to rank it in order of difficulty. For some of us, prayer is the easy and natural tool for straightening out our lives. For others, it is an alien, even hostile prospect. Whatever one's feeling about prayer might be, there should be steady effort to make it a primary ingredient in consciousness.

WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?

The Dictionary on FORGIVE

for-give (fuhr giv') v. <-gave, -giv-en, -giv-ing>

1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, sin, etc.); absolve.

2. to cancel or remit (a debt, obligation, etc.): to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

3. to grant pardon to (a person).

4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.

5. to pardon an offense or an offender.

WHO IS THE KEEPER OF OUR WRONGS?

There may be a bit of our personal theology here. If yours is different, please don't be offended. You might just be right.

When we commit an offense (or fail to fulfill and obligation) the wrong is recorded. The party(s) we have offended, if any, might keep score — most people do. We also add to the bag of guilt, shame, remorse and self-loathing that we haul around with us.

But, the real recorder has been built into the system of the universe by its Creator. It is automatic and inevitable that all wrongs are recorded. And, the one and only thing that can remove them is amendment (correction or repair) of the wrong. Period.

In the East, they call this system Karma. In metaphysics they might call it the Akasha. Whatever it is called and where ever it is located (most likely within us), it works, and it always works without fail, especially for we alcoholics, it seems (joke).

OBJECTS OF FORGIVENESS.

Just who is being forgiven, and by whom?

Forgiving others. If an act of courtesy on our part will help others feel better about themselves, then perhaps we should let them know we have no negative feelings about their actions. But we should never believe that we can, in fact, interfere in their being forgiven in accordance with God's plan for them. Our beliefs and actions are not part of that plan.

Being forgiven by others. The same logic applies as with forgiving others. Cosmetic forgiveness between humans can be a compassionate act. However, genuine forgiveness is a very personal matter.

Being forgiven by God. God does not keep records, nor does He carry grudges. The universal system of justice He has created takes care of correction and forgiveness automatically. He does not intervene. He simply loves us all the time.

Forgiving ourselves. Just as humans cannot truly forgive each other, self-forgiveness is not possible, either. There is more to be said here, however. We assuredly agree that many, if not most, alcoholics know guilt, shame, remorse and self-loathing to excess. We MUST be rid of these before we can truly see the perfection of the Creator within ourselves as we are intended to do. We must also be enabled to look into the mirror and smile at the creature emerging from the slime of self-centered assertion into the service of the Father through his fellows. Knowing that we are forgiven is a requirement for the sober life.

The first thing to do is to clear away the false crimes of which we have convicted ourselves. A solid Step Five will produce a list of our defects of character and a preliminary list of persons we have harmed. If we feel bad about ourselves for anything not on these lists, the lists are either incomplete or we are caught up in the defect of senseless self-condemnation. Feeling bad about oneself, which might have been justified when we were doing our damage, is often an emotional hangover that needs to be discarded. You can create a self respect (not pride) list. It might be next to the mirror, and it might say, "I have cause to respect myself today because I have ... (list of good deeds, steps taken, persons helped, prayers, etc.)." But, be sure never to put yourself on your Step Eight list.

The second thing to do is to take Step Nine (after one through eight with your sponsor, of course). Why? Because amendment is the only means of gaining forgiveness.

OUR "RIGHT" TO FORGIVE.

We feel that when a wrong is committed there is an immediate creation of a record of the act. This record cannot be prevented NOR can it be eradicated through forgiveness. The injured party cannot remove the record, and God will not do so, either, because He created the system of records in the first place. It works just fine for Him.

So, how are you and others absolved from our wrongs? You guessed it, Step Nine. Amendment (repair/correction) of the offense removes the record automatically. Forgiveness plays no part whatsoever in absolution.

Why all this talk about forgiveness, then? The fact is that we are not forgiving offenses against ourselves in the sense of removing the need for amendment on the part of the offender. That we cannot do. Only amendment can do that. Our act of forgiving is to clean out ourselves. That's right. We remove from ourselves the curse we have imposed upon ourselves to punish the offender. Our forgiveness absolves not their act but removes our own personal reaction to it.

Wow, what a concept. It is not their karma we correct, but our own!

The Big Book tells us that resentment is

the biggest threat to our sobriety.

Acceptance is Not Approval

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TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE

When alcoholics and addicts are using, dishonesty becomes a way of life. Our primary purpose is to protect the addiction at any cost: we need to get our drink or drug and get away with it. It’s no wonder that lying becomes a way of life. Because lying eventually becomes second nature to the addict, honesty becomes a critical part of recovery. In fact, dishonesty is a hallmark sign of pending relapse. Lying takes enormous energy, and it brings us back to a secretive, shameful place that is not unlike our days of drinking or drugging.

But what does “getting honest” really mean in recovery? Does it mean we just get honest with ourselves about our behavior? It goes much deeper than that: it is critical that you are honest in every aspect of your life. This does not mean you hurt people by saying things that are honest but not helpful. What it does mean is that you are honest where it counts – in your interactions with family, friends, and co-workers.

Honesty is very simple: you don’t lie, cheat, or steal. You don’t cheat on your taxes; you don’t cheat on your spouse. You don’t steal from your employer. Don’t scam your insurance company. Don’t lie to get financial benefits that aren’t due you.

When I hear someone in recovery doing something that isn’t above board, I cringe: I know this is a crack in the wall…and we all know how cracks grow.

Being honest doesn’t mean if your wife says, “Do I look fat in this dress?” You remark, “Well yes dear, you look like a beached whale.” Don’t mistake true, heartfelt honesty and integrity with not being socially tactful. Clearly, there is a time and place for everything, and sometimes our thoughts are better kept to ourselves.

When it comes to the integrity of our daily interactions, we know darn well when we aren’t being honest.

If we do not have a realistic, clear and honest vision of ourselves, our problems, and what we want to accomplish, we’re could be in a great deal of difficulty.

The very fact that we had continued and are active in addiction for so long, is almost proof positive of our ability to delude ourselves. In the light of day, and with a clear mind, how could we possibly believe that we were not doing ourselves, and those around us serious harm by continuing our addiction.

The only way we could allow ourselves to indulge in our using behavior is to create a fantasy around ourselves which essentially made it OK to use. These fantasies were self delusions that were rooted in dishonesty and self deception. For a long time I had wondered what the word delusion means. I thought it meant ‘crazy’, (and there were certainly times I thought I was). I looked it up, and it simply means believing in something that is not true.

For the purpose of this discussion let’s look at honesty not only in terms of being truthful and not lying, but in not deceiving ourselves. Here is a simple definition of honesty:

"Honesty is the absence of the intention to deceive"

I might add that the person most often deceived is ourselves.

“There’s a lot of talk about the importance of being honest in all our affairs and relationships. I really don’t know where to start it’s been so long since I’ve been honest it’s almost easier to lie.”

Being dishonest can easily become the standard of action, or way of life for most alcoholics or addicts. We deceive ourselves and we lied to others. We lie about how much we used, and how often we used. We hid our feelings and emotions, or became distant from our relationships, perhaps not in all areas, but certainly in terms of our substance use.

We lied about where we went and what we had been doing. It’s a way of staking our claim to our right to continue drinking or using drugs. The lies, self deception, and self delusions were created for the for the purpose of allowing us to continue to use. Somehow we needed it all to make sense.

Sometimes it was not even our intention to deceive. But it is simply that our thought processes had become so clouded and confused and distorted, that our sense of reality was way off base and we no longer made sense.

Many people have discovered that there is a tendency to continue to be untruthful it just doesn’t go away when your substance use stops.

There are two major challenges concerning dishonesty that must be met and overcome in order to enter into a healthy recovery.

1. The dishonesty and lying has to stop. Unfortunately, for many people, this has become a habit. This behavior needs to be ‘unlearned’ and the habit broken.
2. We must also overcome the fear of the consequences of once again being truthful.

Just as the slide into active addiction was gradual for most people, the slide into a state of being dishonest may have been gradual also. Rome was not built in a day. It seems reasonable to assume that to be returned to the state of being completely honest as the norm will be gradual also.

1. To clear up the web of dishonesty we need to start being truthful with ourselves, firstly. If we cannot stop the self deception, delusion and lying in our own hearts and minds, we
won’t be able to be truthful with anybody else.
2. To grow and have an enriched recovery is not possible without honesty. Continuing on with a dishonest nature, or deceptive behaviors, can eventually lead us back to our old ways.
3. Being completely honest need not mean being cruel with ourselves. It is just as important to it knowledge our good qualities as well as the qualities that need improvement this can be difficult. A great number of people in recovery have difficulty accepting complements, or thinking well of themselves.
4.”Brutal honesty” that causes pain to others is wrong. The steps of AA speak of an exception to honestly making amends by saying “except when to do so would injure them or others”.
5. Let’s be realistic. No one can be perfectly honest with themselves or others at all times. As stated before, if we look at honesty as the absence of the intention to deceive, we must be aware that we may, at times, be fooling ourselves and others without intentionally doing so. We simply may not have developed or become aware of the ability and tools to learn how to correctly evaluate the moods, feelings, and situations we find ourselves in which we find ourselves.

What makes these points and questions so significant for the chemically dependent person in recovery?

Well, first of all the concept of honesty must be an underlying foundation before we can even start entering recovery. If we are deceiving ourselves about the severity and chronicity of our disease, how it has affected ourselves and others, we will be very unlikely to take appropriate action. Here are some typical modes of thought, that are based on dishonesty, self deception, or just lack of experiential context

For example:

1. If I truly believe that I really do not have an addiction (self deception), what sense does abstinence or recovery make? Why should I apply a solution when a problem does not exist? Especially if the solution or course of action involves a good deal of effort.
2. If I assume the role of blaming other people for my substance use, what motivation is there for me to remain abstinent? After all, if you had my___________( fill in the blank), husband, job, anxiety, you would be using too. it is your fault I continue to use, not mine. Therefore since it is not my fault I do not have to fix it. You have to fix what you’re doing.
3. A tightly related position to blaming, is playing the victim. Again, if I am the victim of circumstances, be it people, places, or things, I can easily get stuck, and not be willing to change. this is a particularly dangerous form of self deception because the reality is life goes on. bad things happen, good things happen, but casting yourself in the role of a helpless victim takes away motivation for change. There is an old saying, “Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink.”

Common Blocks To Honesty

What is so difficult about being honest even when we want to be?

The first reason ….is that we have developed an integrated and complete lifestyle around which dishonesty has been an integral core.

We have come to lie about our drinking or using to the point where we believe our own fabrications ourselves. That makes it difficult for people to communicate or dispute us. Dishonesty has saturated our emotions, minds, and has come to dominate our behavior and actions.

In other words, we had developed a complete life style and we system based on this honesty, delusion, and distorted truths. It had become an integral part of us. We had become so emotionally dishonest we lost the ability to identify, own, and effectively process our feelings and emotions. (This is an entire future topic). To change the very fabric of a belief system will require constant attention, persistence, and perhaps most important of all… change.

The second reason …. is fear.

There is a certain risk that is involved in being honest and frequently we fear the consequences and pain (mostly to ourselves) that may occur if we’re honest. This type of fear is referred to in the 12 steps as self-centered fear the fear that we may lose something we already possess, failed to gain something we want or suffer a loss.

The fear of telling the truth about yourself is almost always groundless. Almost everybody appreciates honesty and sincerity. Your fear can become exaggerated and escalated by worrying more about how people react to you, then by the truth itself.

There is an old saying that says “What other people think about me is none of my business.” Whenever the fear of being honest grips me I tried to remember that. Sometimes, if the people we encounter have difficulty hearing truth and honesty, they may have a problem with it themselves, it may not be us at all.

OK, I’ve seen the light and I’m going to work on becoming honest so everything will be smooth cruising on the recovery road right?

Well, that’s great tiger, but there may be some bumps in the highway…
One of the consequences of having been dishonest and lying to people that we somehow tend to ignore the fact that people may not trust us. This especially applies to family members. How many times in the current the same old song, and why should they believe you now?
After all they say, if you loved me you would have quit sooner. Gulp…I hate that, but from their point of view it makes sense.
I firmly believe that addiction is a disease of isolation. Not only do we lose the trust of people but we also lose their help. At some point, they will stop trying to help and listen to us. And that can make for very lonely life.

Even though that we have sworn that we are done with our addiction and are on the road to recovery, why should they believe us? This can be incredibly frustrating for the person who is sincerely engaged in recovery. “But I really mean it this time.” I believe you, and I sincerely hope it is true. But you have one thing that is undeniably working against you…Are you ready for this, you won’t like it, it’s going to hit you right between the eyes.
Your track record stinks !!!

Blame it on your past behavior; actions speak infinitely louder than words. But let’s move forward. How can people come to believe and trust in you again? The answer is elegant in its simplicity,

To gain peoples trust…Become Trustworthy

The way to become trustworthy is to show consistent action over time. This comes about by “doing the next right thing”, on a consistent basis. It is all about making correct and ethical choices. It will take quite some time for your new found honesty to accept it as normal by the people engaged in relationships with you.

Patience is a quality that surrounds honesty. Again, many of us have been dishonest for so long that despite our intentions to be honest it is difficult to do so. It is also difficult to know the difference between honesty and privacy.

Without active work in trying to grow and progress in our recovery, the tendency is always to slip back into old and established patterns of destructive behavior. In this case being untruthful and self deceptive. A central idea of moving forward into recovery is to change our old established patterns of behavior. One thing that it is very difficult to argue against is that whenever we were doing was not working. We must focus to change those things that need to be changed.

This takes time. It takes time for others to accept our new way of life. It takes time for us to learn how to manage it. It is no small task to change one’s view of the world and ourselves. To move from a position of “everyone’s out to get me and will, we are put on earth to suffer and die” to a position of hope and the realization that happiness may be within our grasp, is the work of a lifetime.

Initially, some of the slogans and sayings I heard in recovery used to drive me bananas. I thought they were trite, for the brain-dead and brainwashed. The reality was that I was not in a position to accept the truth of them.

The slogan that springs to mind when I consider working on the concept of honesty and becoming more and more truthful with myself is this:

The goal is progress not perfection

There’s a certain degree of comfort to be had in that slogan, in that it is OK to make mistakes. By making mistakes we are confirming the ‘diagnosis’ that we’re human. We are said to learn from our mistakes… If that is the case, I may be a certifiable genius, or then again, simply certifiable.

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SOBER AND SEXY BLOG, ONCE AN ADDICT ALWAYS AN ADDICT, PLEASE READ:

IMMOKALEE, FL 34142

For any questions please call the phone numbers listed in my

profile or e-mail me at LynnNelson6489@hotmail.com

I would like to take a little time to tell you about myself since I have not done this since I start blogging. I have battled addiction for 35 years since the age of thirteen starting with alcohol blocking feelings of not fitting in, not living up to my parents' standards, fear, anxiety. I did not grow up poor. Addiction is not discriminative. I also grew up in Akron, Ohio. The home of AA, how ironic is that? I did 21 stints in rehab, have had several sponsors, rapid trauma addiction therapy but it wasn't until God let me see the face of Satan did it turn my life around. I will now and will forever dedicate the rest of my life to helping others with this affliction, some way, some how. Would you be willing to help?

Once an addict, always an addict?

If you buy into the view that, because relapse is an ever-present symptom of addiction, once a person is an addict, he/she will always be an addict, what’s the point of getting sober? If that is the case, rehab is a waste of time because the addict will relapse at some point. However, as the research shows, this is not the case.

It is how an addict faces his/her addiction that will determine how he/she looks at the role of relapse in recovery. If you are an addict, you will not always be an addict. This is because relapse and addiction do not define a person. Rather, they are challenges in your life and it is your approach to these challenges that define the impact they have in your life. These challenges are opportunities to grow, learn, and improve.

How to Learn from Relapse

Addiction is a chronic relapsing disorder. Relapse is a common symptom of addiction. Statistically, the odds are against the addict: 47% of people getting drug rehabilitation and alcohol treatment will relapse within the first yer after treatment. Using current research, this may be the place where an addict determines how he/she will think about his/her relapse. He/she can think in terms of “performance goals” - because he/she failed to stay sober, he/she doesn’t have the ability to stay clean and will always be an addict.

Or, he/she can think in terms of “learning goals” - even though he/she had a relapse, the addict can learn from the relapse and challenge to get back on the horse and learn from mistakes the second time around.

Learning vs. performance approach to achievement is supported by the statistic that, every time a person relapses but goes back to rehab to get more treatment, chances of staying sober and not relapsing increases. So, the more the addict tries, the better he/she will get at staying sober. It is a learned goal, not one where you either have it or you don’t.

There are many elements that contribute to an addiction and an addict’s recovery. It is a myth of addiction that the inability to stop using drugs is due to a person’s lack of will power. However, personal choice does play a part. Therefore, the way that an addict approaches relapse and what it means to his/her ability and personal role in staying sober could be what helps determine whether or not he/she does.

101 IDEAS FOR A NEW LIFE

1. Don’t underestimate your disease. Every single person does at first.
2. Take care of yourself spiritually. Be mindful of your connection to your higher power today.
3. Ignore the dismal relapse rates. You are creating your own success.
4. Make a zero tolerance policy with yourself concerning relapse. Don’t even allow your mind to go there.
5. Avoid fundamentalism, even in recovery. Rigid thinking and dogma can undermine your sobriety.
6. You are creating a life of recovery and you are responsible for ALL OF IT. Yes, others can help you. Their “help” is mere advice. It is up to you to recover.
7. Don’t confuse enthusiasm for action. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober and then do it.
8. Listen to what the relapsing addicts keep preaching. Then do the opposite.
9. Take care of your social network. Reach out to others in a meaningful way.
10. Figure out a way to help other addicts or alcoholics.
11. If you attend 12 step meetings, find one to start chairing. Consider H&I meetings (taking meetings into jails and treatment centers).
12. Use mindfulness and a heightened awareness to overcome ego. Use meditation to overcome self.
13. Practice forgiveness. Forgive all your past transgressors. Forgive yourself. You must do this to get long term relief from resentment.
14. Be aware of diminishing returns, and spread out your recovery efforts (i.e., don’t focus on just “spiritual” growth).
15. Rearrange all the furniture in your house. Anything to get through the night sometimes.
16. Clean your house from top to bottom. Same as above.
17. Go for a long walk.
18. Adopt a pet and care for it.
19. Eat a gourmet meal.
20. Cook a gourmet meal.
21. Practice the arts. Paint, draw, sculpt, sing, dance. Etc.
22. See a therapist.
23. Work on a puzzle.
24. Connect with someone else who is hurting.
25. Start a project that is bigger than yourself.
26. Revisit an old hobby.
27. Teach someone something. (Anything!)
28. Learn something new each day. (Anything!)
29. Write in a daily journal.
30. Stretch yourself spiritually by suspending disbelief for a day.
31. Write a letter to your addiction where you say farewell to it.
32. Join a recovery forum online.
33. Start a free blog over at BLOGGER.COM and tell the world about your progress in recovery. Figure out your own tips on staying sober.
34. Reconnect with your family and spend time with them.
35. Go back to school.
36. Learn a new skill or trade.
37. Sponsor a newcomer.
38. Make a commitment to chair a meeting each week.
39. Celebrate the recovery of a friend.

40. Spend time with your family.
41. E-mail someone and make them feel special.
42. Celebrate your clean time with a cake.
43. Write out a gratitude list.
44. Read through your old journal entries and see how much you’ve changed.
45. Try a new form of meditation (or make up your own…there is no “wrong” here). Some of the best tips to stay sober come from within.
46. Write out a to-do list and cross each thing off as you accomplish it.
47. Always have a big goal in the back of your mind that is challenging for you, but would make your day if you met it.
48. Practice balance. Challenge your daily habits.
49. Practice humility. Always be in “learning mode.”
50. Forgive yourself and move on with your life.
51. Sit down and write 2 goals out for yourself: one big one and one little one. Keep the paper in your pocket.
52. Inspire someone else to grow. Challenge them to be a better person in some way. Encourage them through your own success.
53. Learn to relax. Find your quiet place of rejuvenation and return to it often.
54. Elevate your consciousness. Watch your own mind and see how it responds to events. Repeat often. Learn.
55. Find the beauty in life. Appreciate all of it. Be grateful for beauty itself.
56. Ask yourself with each decision: “Is this the healthiest choice for me right now?”
57. Quit smoking cigarettes already.
58. Be grateful for existence.
59. If you go to the same AA meetings all the time, switch it up and go to a completely new meeting.
60. Write a poem about how you are overcoming addiction.
61. Turn off your television and read a book. Better: read recovery literature. Best: write your own recovery literature.
62. Use overwhelming force to conquer a goal.
63. Learn how to stay sober through creation of a new reality. Don’t settle. Create the life you really want in recovery.
64. Write your bucket list. Then, act.
65. Figure out your life purpose.
66. Write out a fourth step and share it with your sponsor.
67. Take care of yourself physically. Exercise. Take a walk. No excuses.
68. Keep your priorities straight. Physical abstinence is number one. Simple and effective.
69. Keep a high price on your serenity. Don’t sacrifice it for just anyone and their whims.
70. Use a sponsor for stage 2 recovery. Let them guide you through holistic living.
71. Take care of yourself mentally. Go back to school. Get that degree.
72. Find your own path. It is your responsibility to do so.
73. Practice humility and stay teachable. Always be learning.
74. Go to long term treatment and be done with it. Best decision I ever made.
75. Don’t pin your hopes on a short stay in rehab. It takes more than that.
76. Call your sponsor.
77. Get a sponsor.
78. Use a zero tolerance policy when it comes to self-pity. Never allow it for yourself ever again. Ever. It is poison.
79. Read recovery literature.
80. Join a recovery forum.
81. Use outpatient treatment if that works for you. Take it as seriously as possible and connect with the others in your group.
82. Meditate.
83. Pray.
84. Go out for coffee with a friend in recovery.
85. Find your passion.
86. Work out.
87. Join a church.
88. Volunteer.
89. Take care of yourself emotionally. Don’t get knocked too far off your square.
90. Stay vigilant against potential relapse. The disease can find many routes (gambling, prescription drugs, sex, etc.).
91. Go to a meeting.
92. Don’t pin your hopes on long term treatment. It takes a lifetime of learning for alcoholics andrecovering drug addicts to recover.
93. Use long term strategic thinking. Care for yourself, network with others, and pursue conscious growth.
94. Don’t ask “why me?” Instead, ask “how can I create the life I really want now?”
95. Call a friend in recovery.
96. Sit down and write out a gratitude list.
97. Don’t live in fear of relapse. I wasted 5 years on this. Embrace the creative life and know you are strong in recovery.
98. Get extreme. Figure out what you need to do to stay sober…then double it and add ten. That’s how hard you have to push yourself.
99. Raise the bar. Stop settling. Use your talents as a gift to the world and make a difference in some way.
100. Live consciously. Set deliberate goals and go after them with overwhelming force.
101. Embrace the creative life in recovery and live holistically.

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